Author: SCHUYLER KROPF
Date: Feb 15, 2006
Start Page: A.1
Section: NATION
Text Word Count: 810
Copyright The Post and Courier Feb 15, 2006

After 12 years of marriage, Lauren and Kevin Rafferty of Mount Pleasant knew their union was over.

They tried counseling and even considered staying together in the interest of protecting their two young children. Nothing seemed to work.

"We grew far apart," she said. "And it just wasn't going to happen."

But even as their marriage crumbled, the Raffertys didn't hate each other. They didn't fight in that tit-for-tat way some couples do in a divorce. Their civility gave them an option.

A little-known alternative to a court-controlled divorce is gaining traction in Charleston County, and advocates say the option is easier on both parties, is significantly cheaper than a courthouse divorce and, more importantly, is easier on the children.

Called a collaborative divorce, it's akin to a no-fault divorce in which both sides don't make a lot of claims or potentially divisive demands on each other.

The concept is simple. When both sides agree the marriage can't be saved, husband and wife sit down in a room where each is represented by an attorney. The couple is made to sit next to each other, symbolically eliminating the gulf between them.

Over the course of several visits, the agreements about alimony, division of assets and child visitation are done on-site, with lawyers acting more as facilitators than adversaries.

Eliminated from the process are depositions, contact controlled by the attorneys and a timetable that depends on a judge.

Charleston attorney Guy J. Vitetta helped launch the program in Charleston about two years ago, although it's really been active in the past year.

"The first step is to take the option of litigation off the table," Vitetta said. "It's suited to about 90 percent of the divorces that are out there."

About 25 local lawyers have been trained in collaborative divorces, Vitetta said, with about 20 divorces being settled that way in the past year. Financial consulting and child assessments are also part of the process, he said.

Kevin Rafferty, 40, said that he and his soon-to-be ex-wife fall into that 90 percent category. Both of the Raffertys accepted that their marriage was over but didn't want to injure the other -- or their children -- in the emotional breakup of their marriage, they said.

"You need two people that don't want to gut each other," he said. The couple had most of their issues worked out in about four sessions, said Lauren Rafferty, 39.

South Carolina law already allows for a no-fault divorce, but only after a year of separation. The collaborative divorce process can begin almost immediately.

The Rafferty divorce cost about $5,000 (he $3,000, she about $2,000), mostly in attorney costs. The difference probably was in the rates the lawyers charged, she said.

But both said the tab was probably thousands of dollars cheaper than what a prolonged contested divorce would have been since less billable hours were involved, as were costs associated with phone calls, e-mails and court time.

Vitetta said the savings go beyond cash. Nasty divorces can take a toll on family, productivity at work and mutual friendships, he said. Plus, they are dependent upon judges to act and lawyers to confront.

Widely accepted statistics indicate about half of all marriages in the United States fail, and Charleston is no exception. Last year, 2,300 divorce cases were filed in Charleston County, while a more optimistic 3,736 marriage licenses were issued.

During last month's State of the Judiciary speech, state Supreme Court Chief Justice Jean Toal said she supported exploring alternatives to contested divorces, largely because children get caught in the middle.

Vitetta said collaborative divorce is about easing pain, not inflicting it.

If you can get to both parties before the litigation process begins, he said, when the bad feelings can really escalate, "you're going to eliminate those bad feelings."

But advocates also agree that collaborative divorce is not for everyone, including instances involving allegations of abuse or cruelty, be it physical or otherwise.

Although Lauren Rafferty said she was pleased with her decision to seek a collaborative divorce, the one drawback she saw was that if she had chosen to drop out of the collaborative path, which always remains an option, it would have meant starting the divorce process all over again. That meant she would have had to hire a new lawyer and lose all the money she'd already spent.

Still, she agreed with the way it happened.

"It was not my lawyer versus his lawyer," Lauren Rafferty said. "It was me versus Kevin. We had more say on what went on, we had more say on the settlement."

Kevin Rafferty called it "making the best of a worse-case scenario."

Reach Schuyler Kropf at 937-5551, or skropf@postandcourier.com

For more information on seeking a collaborative divorce, visit the South Carolina Collaborative Law Association's Web site at www.collaborativedivorcesc.com.

Credit: The Post and Courier

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